Movie Reviews in 3 words or less

• Hot Fuzz

Two words: Really Crappy

• The Simpsons Movie

One word: Awesome

• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Three words: Book is better

For those who disagree, I don't care.

Thanks.

Manners, where have they gone?

Today when I was at lunch, buying some hot dogs and a pop, I was reminded of why too many people in one area can have a detrimental effect on how people act. I will replay the whole scene, one way doing the original and the other a remix on how it should have went.

Manners #1

I am at the counter paying for my food when this old fucker comes and stands right next to me, invading my personal space. This offense gets me pissed right away. He looks at the girl behind the counter and starts rambling about what he wants to eat. He even has a piece of paper with what he needs written on it. The girl, still waiting on me, looks at him and he hands her the paper and a twenty dollar bill. I have an extremely pissed off look on my face, but I try to calm down so I don't go to jail for beating the elderly. Wait, let me tell you why I got extremely pissed in the first place.

This girl behind the counter is pretty cool. I go into this resturant every week and B.S. with her. She's has long dark hair, a cute face and a nice ass. Basically, she's pretty hot. I would like to fuck her. So as I am talking with her, this old fuck just bum rushes the counter and takes over. Instant pissed is what happened. So anyway....

I am standing to this guys right. I would say that I have maybe a foot, foot and a half on this bastard. I notice that the girl is looking at him and not at me. I turn to him and just stare with the look of utter disgust on my face. This old fucker looks up and doesn't even realize what his impatients has done. Then all the the sudden, the girl starts talking to me again about my order and I completely lose my train of thought and forget about that old fuck. End of story.

Manners #1 Remix

Here is what I wanted to do, but didn't because I don't want that girl to think I'm a psycho. So as soon as this guy walks up, I know what he is going to do. The first thought in my mind is, "Come on you old fuck, wait in line like everybody else." So I turn to him and say, "Hey man, why don't you wait in line until I am done." This old fucker seems like he is lost and says to me, "Blow it out your ass sonny." I, being the nice guy that I am, punch him square in his pie hole and knock him to the ground. I start to kick that fuck in the face while he is down on the ground. All of the sudden the chinese guy that is always there stands up and says "Why don you pik on sum wun your own age." I look over at the Lo Pan lookin muther ucker and say," Why don't you suck my balls, come forrow me outside and I will show you whats up, bitch!" This angers the tiny little man so much that he runs to his car and comes back with a sword. I am not scared of this, I have fought guys when I had nothing and they had guns. It was called 'NAM. So I reach back into my pocket and pull out my handy carry-along nunchucks. This dude was done in 2 seconds.

I look down where that old fuck had been laying and he was gone. I looked around and saw that he had taken a hostage in the back by the grill. It was the girl behind the counter. Rage built up inside me at the sight of this. I tell him to let her go and he says he will if I buy him his lunch. I am thinking that this dude is an idiot. I tell him ok and he lets her go. As soon as he does, I jump and do a roundhouse kick to his face. He's done, forget about it. The girl runs over and helps me up, being careful not to hurt my already cut open arm and leg. She looks at me and says, " No one has ever saved me like that. Do you want to go make out in the back?" I tell her I can't because I am late for work, but later on she could come over and make me dinner.

Now the second story was a work of fiction, with some truthful elements sprinkled in for effect. Anyway, the meaning of this post today is to remind people that manners make a big difference in this world. If everyone had good manners, I think this world would be a better place. But I would say that on a daily basis, I run into more fuckin jerks than nice friendly people. But whatever.